Feminism

What is the first thing that comes into a man's mind when they hear the word 'feminism'?

Here are a few associations I can think of:

• Man-haters
• Hypocrites
• Lesbians
• Power-hungry bitches
• Unfeminine
• Aggressive
  

And now let's have a look at some of the facts in the April 2009 issue of COSMO:

1. For exactly the same job and position, 'women in the UK earn, on average, 17% less than men'. (although, I think this figure would also apply to non-British nationals)
2. 'After divorce, women are three times more likely to fall into poverty than men' (I hate this one particularly!)
3. 'Around the world, 40-70% of female murder victims are killed by their male partners'
4. 'Women believed to have commited adultery are still being stoned to death in some countries (including Iran and Somalia)'
5. 'Only 10% of high court judges are women'
6. '45% of women in the UK have experienced some form of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking'
7. In developing countries, 500,000 women die needlessly every year in pregnancy and childbirth, are denied access to education, and 'many find themselves married and bearing children at 13 or 14. Their husbands are the ones who make a choice of whether to pay for a doctor if complications arise (if he's able to), or to let her die.
   

Some milestones throughout history:

• 1913: Emily Davidson dies after throwing herself under a horse owned by King George V, fighting to give women the right to vote
• 1918: The vote is finally given to women over 30 who own property
• 1928: The vote is extended to all women over 21
• 1946: The bikini is invented
• 1948: Cambridge university awards full degrees to women for the first time in its 700-year history
• 1961: Contraceptive pill becomes available through the NHS - but only for married women
• 1970: The Miss World contest is disrupted by feminist protestors
• 1973: Women are allowed on the trading floor of the London Stock Exchange for the first time
• 1974: Contraception becomes free for all women in the UK
• 1976: Women get legal protection from violent partners for the first time
• 1975: It becomes illegal to sack a woman because she gets pregnant
• 1979: Margaret Thatcher elected the first female British PM in history
• 2007: Wimbledon history is made when Venus Williams scoops the same prize money as the male champion
• 2008: Hillary Clinton battles to be the first female US president
  

Now from one female's POV.

First of all, I don't hate men. In fact, I often prefer their company to other females because the innate bitchiness can overwhelm. Contrary to popular belief, the independence argument is not about 'not needing men', its about being able to be self-sufficient, or at least trying your best before asking for help. Its about pride in self. No, not testosterone-fuelled pride, only human pride in acheivement, no matter how big or small. Do men ever think realistically about how their families would survive if anything were to happen to them? This is what some of us women think about when we pursue decent earning power. Often, it really isn't an attempt to demean the opposite sex but to make sure that our (potential) families will have the best opportunities in life. Just as making the choice to go out to work doesn't make someone a bad mother, neither does staying home to look ater the kids unfeminist.

The biggest issue I have is with the 'hypocrite' association. Some men say we want the best of both worlds, leaving them with nothing. Now, I for one have been guilty of this. I only learnt how to fit a new lightbulb 2 years ago and I do appreciate gentlemanly chivalry! But I also appreciate a man who can cook and do housework. So in order to achieve greater equality I realise that I should also learn how to fix things when they're broken and do some heavy lifting. Without a doubt the two sexes are built physically different, but that doesn't mean we just shouldn't bother at least trying. In terms of money, not suggesting extravagent nights which you cannot pay for, even if you don't (unless its some special occassion) is one way of reducing this association.

Many men complain about the fact that because women are so powerful today, the distinction between the sexes are becoming blurred and they feel 'less-of-a-man', not being able to be the main breadwinner anymore. I do have a healthy respect for those cultures where traditional roles exist, however I also don't see it as a bad thing that maybe having a female in the family as the main breadwinner would allow men to spend more time with their kids, or find a job they love and enjoy doing without the financial pressures. If one just takes a look at nature for example, lions are highly respected as being the 'Kings of the Jungle', but which sex goes out hunting for for the family?

This whole discussion actually reminds me of the TV series' Lipstick Jungle and Cashmere Mafia. These shows basically encompass the whole debate and its why I love them. Just because there are some examples out there, feminism should not be unfairly equated with not taking pride in our appearances, or not taking an interest in fashion and make-up. If they could just make all the Miss World contestants intelligent with something worthwhile to say, there would be no reason at all for the demonstrations.

Feminism for me is about having choices, not being discriminated against, and having some measure of independence. It's about being strong yet sensitive, seeing beyond mere physical appearances and not judging others before taking a good look at yourself...because you're so perfect right? What I really don't understand, and which I think is the ultimate definition of being the complete opposite of a feminist, is female bitchiness. I could go on about this all day. It's a given that this will happen throughout the teenage years at schools, but why do some women insist on carrying this behaviour on into their 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond? Shouldn't all women be happy for each other when something good happens or they achieve something?

Take celebrity magazines for example. Are we that jealous and insecure about ourselves that we need to circle cellulite in magazines to make ourselves feel better?! Yes it can be nice to know that these people are that much closer to us mere mortals but is it really that important in the whole scheme of things? For those who do have supposedly 'perfect' bodies, put it into perspective. Think of all the food deprivation, hard workouts at the gym, constant criticism, and ocassionally going under the knife. No thank you. I'll workout and moderate the amount of junk food I eat but never focus my whole existence on attaining something which is just going to go out of the window to a degree with age and childbirth anyway. Would you rather die tomorrow knowing you ate that Krispy Kreme? or die thinking how much you've deprived yourself of some small pleasures in life. I'm not trying to promote unhealthiness here but at the end of the day, wouldn't it be better to focus on the positive? What has she done rather than what her thighs look like?!

Actually, when did it become more about genitals than being a decent human being?